


here is a thought

by yami (blind_man_sun)



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Gen, POV Second Person, implied dr alchemy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-07
Updated: 2016-11-07
Packaged: 2018-08-29 15:17:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8494948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blind_man_sun/pseuds/yami
Summary: here is a thought: you're the bad guy





	

**Author's Note:**

> i love angst

Here is a thought: you are not yourself.

Here is a thought: there is someone else inside your head.

-

There’s a splitting ache in his head, enough to make the letters on the forms on the desk in front of him blur and fall off the edge of the paper, enough to make him want to curl up in a safe quiet darkness somewhere, work be damned. There’s a burning behind his eyes, and it hurts to blink, and he doesn’t know if it’s because of the headache or the fact that he’s rubbed the skin on his face raw.

Across the lab Barry Allen is tapping a pencil and in that moment Julian desperately wants to murder him. 

“Will you please stop that,” he says, in what is intended to be a fairly polite tone and not the strained voice of a man who was thinking of the best way to dispose of a body two seconds ago.

The tapping stops and is replaced with the sensation of being watched, a feeling that he’s increasingly, uncomfortably, growing accustomed to. He doesn’t look up. 

“Are you okay?” Barry asks, and he sounds genuinely concerned.

It feels like there’s something trying to claw it’s way out of my skull, Julian thinks.

“I’m fine,” he says even as he gets up and leaves the room.

-

Here’s a thought: there’s something trying to escape.

-

The cold water on his face is doing nothing to dispel these unbidden thoughts and it is doing nothing, absolutely nothing, to dispel the fact that his eyes have gone completely, irrevocably black.

He stares at his reflection in the mirror and says to it, quietly, these words: I am losing my mind.

He thinks (knows) he’s been hallucinating lately. This is just another one. Ignore it. He blinks, tilts his head, and the black in the reflection’s eyes fades, replaced with a softly glowing light. Another blink and it’s gone. Another blink and it’s still gone, it’s just him, his face, looking tired and scared, staring back at him. 

He dries his face off before he goes back to work.

-

Here’s a thought: you are the bad guy.

here’s a thought you are the bad guy

heres a thought

here.


End file.
